morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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