Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
