Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
