and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
worst night to have a conscience
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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