The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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