there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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