in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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