Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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