OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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