so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
