Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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