Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
