that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Randomize