You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Damn victory sex feels great
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