Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
