i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
