Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
