Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
