It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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