you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
