So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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