was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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