I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
