I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
