you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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