there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
