did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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