Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
