I just pynch a tree in the face
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
