Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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