i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
