I bet he comes in French.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize