got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm always down for nudity.
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