I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
