youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
