Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
