Are we in a gay sports bar?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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