I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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