Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
