I could make wine with my vomit
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize