she kept yelling 'call me bella'
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
