3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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