More tranny stories later!
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
