I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
