Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
