im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
