Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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