Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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