I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
