God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
