Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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