Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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