you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
