How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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