Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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