5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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