i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
