let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
