YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
