I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
