This is not my ceiling
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
