doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to have your abortion
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
