Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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