She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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