I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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