At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The uberlube is also flammable
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
