I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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