I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
