We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
