Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
