He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
