we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
