I think I died a long time ago.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
