I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
FUCK WHALES
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