I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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