She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
